It should get easier every year, right? But for some reason, Mothers' Day this year feels a bit tougher for me than normal.
I'll do the usual things that help me get through it every year - skip church (so no one inadvertently makes insensitive comments or automatically wishes me Happy Mothers' Day), avoid social media and stay safe at home.
But maybe I will plan something to make the day special this year. I have seen some ideas in a chat for a group I am a member of called Childless by Circumstance, Not by Choice. Some of the members are in the UK where their Mothers' Day happened a few weeks ago. It has been affirming to hear so many in the group expressing the same feelings I experience when this holiday rolls around every year.
Some ideas I have brewing right now are ordering in a nice brunch for myself complete with fun foods and special coffee, having a friend over who won't be celebrating Mothers Day, stay under a blanket on the couch all day having a movie marathon (maybe Pride & Prejudice?) or doing something calming like coloring or a long hot soak with epsom salts, a good book and a long nap. Maybe I will order supplies to try making beesax candles like I have been wanting to do.
I may see my nieces and nephews that day; in the past they have given me Mothers Day cards for an aunt who is like a second mom and made me feel very loved. My sister has also sent me very thoughtful and encouraging messages on past Mothers' Days.
Most of all I will be kind to myself and plugged into my relationship with my loving Father. I will also deeply appreciate and celebrate the fact that I have my own own mother in my life as several of my friends do not.
I will survive this year just like I have the past 13 since I became physically unable to have children. But my hope and dream is that by this time next year I will have someone special in my life and be looking forward to a future with a husband and children and grandchildren - my own family.
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